Gltokensp06 Posted February 4, 2006 Report Share Posted February 4, 2006 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. ****-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bariphonium Posted February 5, 2006 Report Share Posted February 5, 2006 Einstein's theory of relativity has proven that Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you yesterday. And God said, "Let there be light." And Chuck Norris said, "Say please." The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one of the corners. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter. And, to finish it off... http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermanuel Posted February 5, 2006 Report Share Posted February 5, 2006 chuck norris jokes are so two weeks ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel_pablo Posted February 5, 2006 Report Share Posted February 5, 2006 chuck norris jokes are so two weeks ago yup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springbassliner26 Posted February 6, 2006 Report Share Posted February 6, 2006 chuck norris jokes are so two weeks ago there was a whole pile of them printed out in the library's printer tray a few days ago someone probably left them there on purpose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T is for Tuba Posted February 6, 2006 Report Share Posted February 6, 2006 There still going on over here today my friend turned to me in chem and he said Chuck Norris jumped in a lake but he didn't get wet the lake got Chuck Norrised Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsstephenyo Posted February 7, 2006 Report Share Posted February 7, 2006 wow thats probably the worst chuck norris joke ever. actually... probably just the worst joke ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRtrumpet Posted February 7, 2006 Report Share Posted February 7, 2006 lol, that was pretty funny in a wierd way. Whos Chuck Noris? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springbassliner26 Posted February 8, 2006 Report Share Posted February 8, 2006 seriously? you dont know who chuck norris is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viccro Posted February 8, 2006 Report Share Posted February 8, 2006 I'm not really sure either...where did these jokes start? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilson07 Posted February 8, 2006 Report Share Posted February 8, 2006 Chuck Norris is the one and only Walker: Texas Ranger. He was also the third judge in the movie Dodgeball who got to decide if Average Joe's got to play or not. c'mon! i cant believe you live in Texas and dont know who Chuck Norris is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viccro Posted February 8, 2006 Report Share Posted February 8, 2006 Well, I must just be deprived...I've never seen Dodgeball either... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRtrumpet Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 Me either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbui Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 The Big Bang was caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the galaxy's face. Chuck Norris made a perfect score on his SATs by just signing his name. There are two types of people in this world. People who know Chuck Norris, and people who have been roundhouse kicked in the head by Chuck Norris. I once saw Chuck Norris kill a man with a gummi worm because the guy looked at him wrong. Chuck Norris picked up an HTML book once, then he read it in 30 seconds. Then he picked up a MySQL book and learned to administer a database in 10 seconds. Finally, he learned PHP in 5 seconds and in one, he made a BBS. You better be grateful that Chuck Norris is still alive, otherwise you'd have to build a temple to honor his grave... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbui Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 QUOTE (TRtrumpet @ Feb 6 2006, 11:39 PM) lol, that was pretty funny in a wierd way. Whos Chuck Noris? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viccro Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 Ah. Nice illustration...that certainly got the point across! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartinHorn Posted February 18, 2006 Report Share Posted February 18, 2006 nuff said. there is a website with all those chuck norris quotes on there plus many more, and there is also a Vin Diesel one too. ex. "If you freeze frame #3,000,547 of The Empire Strikes Back, you can actually see Vin Diesel cut off Luke Skywalker's hand with a Ginsu Knife." and "If you whisper Vin Diesel's name to a newborn penguin, he will attempt to suckle your teat." Gems. Absolute gems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassClariGrl Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 You guys are exactly like my comm. app. class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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