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Things your Band directors say..


mnkyman

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lol one day out of nowhere instead of saying "set" when we were supposed to be set our director said "field" (idk why?) and thats what she was gonna say whole year. she said it the whole practice that day...

 

 

... then we never heard it from her again. she never even mentioned it.

'Field' meant that the techs were supposed to go and fix stuff, I believe. Either she or someone else explained it to me that way, anyway.

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"the freshmen don't know what they're doing! you have to set the example. they look like newborn puppies where the front legs dont work with the back ones *shows us how this looks*)

 

"do you need a GPS?!?!? because you look so lost out there! does someone have a @#*& G P S system to put on her drum!! *furious - pretty scary* Do it AGAIN!"

 

"Last time" - band dictionary def = 3rd to last time if you are lucky

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- The judges will be throwing babies at you!

 

 

 

 

i still don't understand what that has to do with anythiing. Evidently it means he thinks ur good but why waste the babies

MY director says

 

"Make the music sound so gorgeous that people will throw babies and money on the field"

 

OR

 

"make it sound so good, that parents drop their kids" :lol:

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I've got a number of them:

 

"Because of your hard work, it is now Wednesday."

 

"For every second you waste, multiply that by 300 and that's how many seconds you've wasted."

 

"I told you five minutes ago we had five minutes ago. Now we only have four!"

 

"Two by two like Moses" (Think about this one if you don't get it right away)

 

And a longer one (conversation between a director and one of my friends):

 

Director-"Josh stop goofing off, this is serious."

Friend-"What the-- I wasn't doing anything"

Director-"Maybe not this time, but that's just one time."

Friend- "But... If I didn't do anything, why did you yell at me in the first place?"

Director- "..." *walks off*

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"I'm not yelling at you guys! So don't go running to your mommies telling them I yell at you! I am just speking loudly so you can hear me!" Ahh, the voice of a paranoid band director

paranoid doesn't even begin to describe him!! but...that one is on a basis of what i was gonna mention about him ;) .

 

some more of that baby director (to marching band, not baby literally)... and just others -

 

- "this time we're going to continue!"

- "perform like its a performance!" -...can't even get his words right half the time..

- "practice like it's a performance!" -that's the right one!! lol. still hardly ever happens...unless we have our old band director there with us at practice b/c the underclassmen get scared of him and us olderclassmen know how to do things with him. lol.

- "sit in the shade during breaks." - contrasting with the followed, "don't sit on the ground!" when he does see someone sitting.

- "sit when you're set!" "don't sit on the ground during practice!"

- "when you waste 10 minutes of morning rehearsal every morning, you end up wasting over an hour by the end of the week! With that we have more than enough time with the 8 hour rule! You don

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oh jesus

...

 

 

What a shame

why would you walk when you can run

let's earn our pe credit

i didn't go to juilliard to teach a bunch of high schoolers to play like this (or something to that effect)

we just lost indianapolis because of you

if i wanted you all to teach each other, i would be paying (or something to that effect... again)

early is on time, on time is late

 

and a few one hit wonders

HOT darn YOU GUYS WERE GREAT!

...you guys don't really need water, do you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there's a billion dinkinisms, i just can't think of many right now :/

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What a shame

why would you walk when you can run

let's earn our pe credit

i didn't go to juilliard to teach a bunch of high schoolers to play like this (or something to that effect)

we just lost indianapolis because of you

if i wanted you all to teach each other, i would be paying (or something to that effect... again)

early is on time, on time is late

 

and a few one hit wonders

HOT darn YOU GUYS WERE GREAT!

...you guys don't really need water, do you?

 

I think "What a Shame" is one of my favs. Haha, to add to that....we can have, easily:

STRAIGHT LEGS!

Don't be reactive, be proactive.

Play as short as Mrs. G

Don't do crack (or something to that effect).

THO-THO-THO (I'd like to see who knows that one)

2-Minute Water Break! (45 seconds later....) Alright, you guys, set one!

You guys will drive me up a wall (he's already standing ont he top of the wall).

 

Yeah, it's late, so that's all I can think of right now.

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there's a billion dinkinisms, i just can't think of many right now :/

haha "dinkism"....we have "burkisms" for both marching and concert season, some are kinda cliche: band is a dictatorship not a democracy!

 

it would be hilarious to put up a sign over the band director's office door:

"All hope abandon ye who enter here." haha

 

we have a picture of him wearing a darth vader helmet at disney :lol:

 

"stop playing [music] like freshmen!"

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"stick out your tongue *people stick out their tongues* GOOD YOU DO HAVE ONE, USE IT!!!"

 

"Play with good sounds, don't sound like an elephant in a bathtub, FLOP!"

 

"LISTEN TO INSTRUCTIONS!!! Don't step in front of the 18 wheeler, ohhp, never mind. Might save your life someday..."

 

"I could drive a Mack Truck through that hole!"

 

"Hey low brass, if you'd all play your horns, the first trumpets wouldn't sound like a Haas, play out!"

 

"Don't try and teach a pig to march, it annoys the pig and frustrates you *referring to the freshmen*"

 

"A Half note has two beats in Cibolo too Trombones!"

 

*during part of Jupiter in our Planets show* "Happy horns, ha ha ha happy horns, ha ha haaaapy happy happy happy horns." *sing the part and if you know jupiter you shoudl be able to figure it out*

 

 

And she uses all sorts of different foods to accent different rhythms.

 

Coconut = triplet

Apple Pie = two sixteenths followed by an eigth note

 

And ANY rhythm can be related to PIE.

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"Play with good sounds, don't sound like an elephant in a bathtub, FLOP!"

 

"I could drive a Mack Truck through that hole!"

 

"Don't try and teach a pig to march, it annoys the pig and frustrates you *referring to the freshmen*"

 

And she uses all sorts of different foods to accent different rhythms.

 

Coconut = triplet

Apple Pie = two sixteenths followed by an eigth note

 

And ANY rhythm can be related to PIE.

hahaha. aww..i couldn't remember the one about the MACK TRUCK...well, i could, just not the exact words...aah...i remember those days. lol.

 

"BUBBLEGUM BUBBLEGUM BUBBLEGUM!!"

 

but...the apple pie one is new to me.

 

ooh..another..."tator tot! tator tot! tator tot!!" haha..the best part of concert band that last year she was here was making tally marks whenever she mentioned food....i don't remember the number the one day..

 

but..."this is supposed to sound smooth, like...a hot fresh slice of pizza sliding down your throat." ooh..that one was priceless...

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